I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
