it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
