I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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