I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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