He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
