why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
