they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
