My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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