So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
