What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
