You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
