if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
