Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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