We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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