you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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