what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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