sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
