he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
