one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
