I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
