Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
