You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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