I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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