I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Shame - the story of my life.
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