I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Randomize
