You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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