Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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