Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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