I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
