I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
