She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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