ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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