You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
