There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
