dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
