It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Randomize
