trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i love accidental penises.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
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