she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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