...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
