a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
