Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
