That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
