even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
