I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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