Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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