i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
