Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
