end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
