yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
