I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
this will be a night to untag.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
