Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
